2007-10-09 - 11:19 a.m.
If I don't talk about it, maybe it'll go away

Okay, so I went all ranty about my roommate in here less than an hour ago. Unless you're completely sick of how much I bitch about her, you can go back one entry and read about my annoyance.

But I'm sure you're all sick of that. What haven't I bitched about in a while . . . hmmmm. Oh yeah! Something that my roommate so helpfully brought up last night!

Einstein: (out of nowhere) So, do you want to talk about your brother?
Ninja: . . . no . . .
Einstein: You don't want to tell me about what happened before school started or whenever?
Ninja: No.
Einstein: Was he hurt really bad?
Ninja: Not really bad, (realizes that she's talking about it and breaks off). It's complicated. I don't want to talk about it.
Einstein: I see.

Fucking a. You don't see. And you're never going to see because I'm never going to talk about it. Just because I mentioned something about bad things happening this summer with him when you asked me about him doesn't mean you get to pester me until I fess up about it. I'm not into that sharing and caring bullshit.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, his sentencing got moved from last month to this month. October 22nd is his court date. When we find out how long he's going away for. Up to three months in jail. And since he has such a substance abuse problem that they were considering putting him back in rehab earlier this month because of some pictures I found on facebook of him doing beer bongs (ugh, now THERE'S something I don't want to go into).

October 22 is my fall break. Which means I'll be at home for the proceedings and aftermath. You have no idea how badly I do not want to be there. It's going to be so dramatic and I just want to pretend that this all is not that big of a deal.

That's going to be more difficult if I'm actually there. My parents are going to be all dramatic and I know I should be a good daughter and want to be there for them, but ugh. No. I don't want to.

My friends think my reluctance to go home is the same old reluctance I have every time I have to go home. And basically, it is. Because in the past, I didn't want to go home because of the problems Quint was stirring up. This time it's just a hundred fold.

I considered going home last weekend. I told Libby that and she said "I think that's the first time, in three years of knowing you, that you have ever said you want to go home. Weird.". Weird, indeed.

I didn't go home, of course. Fall Break, however, I have no excuse not to go home. I have to, actually, because I have several doctor's appointments back in hometown over those two days.

Ugh.

Break is not going to be fun.