2007-10-28 - 12:53 p.m.
Why the hell would a cat be wearing khaki cargo pants?

It only makes sense that last night was ridiculous. I mean, you can't have two amazing nights right in a row.

The haunted house we went to was actually a blast. I screamed and laughed the entire way through at the zombies and what not. It wasn't really scary, but that's only because I had Libby to cling to and occasionally that guy in the sweatshirt in front of me. Whenever I got really startled, I would grab his hood. Poor guy, I probably choked him once or twice.

After that, we went to the bars. Or a bar, to put it more accurately. To be honest, I was a little bored. I wanted to be dancing. I think my fidgeting around at the outside of our little table is what garnered all the creeper attention I got last night. It only makes sense that I got fun attention Friday night and the most awkward attention last night.

The first guy was a friend of my friend Groby's. We'd met previously and had a really awkward conversation that ended up with me wanting to kick him in the balls. I didn't, but man, that kid needs some help.

He thought opening up the conversation with this gem would be a good idea. "So, if I remember correctly from the last time we spoke, you don't want to have children, right?" He says, leaning awkwardly in towards me while maintaining direct eye contact with the wall to my left.

"Uh, yeah. That's right." I say, arms unconsciously folding protectively over my bare midriff.

"Right. So, how are you going to make your life meaningful then? I mean, what's going to motivate you if you don't have children?" He actually thinks this a good question to ask me.

I stare at him, deciding whether I want to slug him or laugh at him. I end up doing neither. Eventually, I just kind of rotate around the table and laugh with Libby and LT about what a jackass he was.

Then, a guy who was probably 35 with an atrocious Midwestern/Texas accent approached me. He had no idea who I was dressed up as and thought that was a great pick up line. Then he proceded to talk to me about his upbringing on the Nebraska/Kansas border and how he's a soil scientist who did a survey on soil in my hometown.

Luckily, my friend Sagget saw me looking bored and alarmed at that point and so came over to rescue me. Soil Guy just kind of drifted away.

The last encounter of the night was a guy who yelled "Where are your whiskers?!" at me as I was walking past him.

Ninja: What?
Idiot at the Bar: Your whiskers! If you're a cat, where are your whiskers?
Ninja: I'm not a cat!
Idiot: You're wearing gloves!
Ninja: So?
Idiot: You're a cat!
Ninja: Do you see any cat ears on me? I'm not a cat.
Idiot: What are you then?
Ninja: I'm leaving. Bye!

Yep. Last night was pretty damn lame.