2007-11-27 - 9:02 p.m.
Phone calls and head thralls

So, I had two clusters and one enduring dull headache yesterday. Took two migraine pills (one in the morning and one in the evening) and felt somewhat like a normal human being by about 7 pm. That doesn't mean I did any homework, but I did feel okay.

I felt mostly okay today, just a dull, dull, naseuating thing of a headache for most of the day. Cut to an hour ago, after I took a couple sips of my hot chocolate (I'm not allowed [much] caffiene [or {any} alcohol!] during a cluster period), I bent over in my chair to watch Libby shove some newspaper under our wobbly table and BAM! Right over the left eye, someone had shoved a lightning bolt, much like one Zeus wielded in either Fantasia or Disney's Hercules (I'll let you pick your Disney posion), right into my forehead above my left eye. The asshole then twisted the motherfucker around for the next two minutes. I, for my part, tried to push the flat of my palm through my skull to form a sort of hand band-aid over the hideous wound I was sure the lightning bolt imparted on my poor, somewhat-mushy-by-now gray matter.

Libby is meanwhile staring at me as I rock in my chair with my hands covering my face. I try to crack wise to ease the uncomfortable/horrified expression on her face, but I doubt it was intelligible. The pain now has faded to the size of fire hot 5 inch nail just over my left eye. I'm very, very warm and my ears are burning like I'm embarrased, as per usual during a cluster attack. The only balm is the relative coolness of my hand pressed to my forehead. I could take a migraine pill, as I have them with me (for most of the day, I had hoped that the box poking me in the side from the pocket of my jacket was a charm of sorts, warding the bad, bad clusters away, but alas!), but I don't wanna. I only have four (4!) left and refuse to waste them on this little bitch of a cluster. I've had worse and I would shout defiantly for the cluster gods to bring it on, but really . . . please, don't. I don't want them. Anymore. Ever. Thanks.

I am just thankful my clusters don't wake me during the night like most people's do. Hideous. I mostly just lie there in bed, my head pulsing against the pillow and imagine how the image of my bed on a heat scan would look. I just feel like I radiate heat, transfering it to everything around me.

In other, non-clusterf*#$ news, I've been waiting not so patiently for the boy I have the hots for to call me. He's such an adorable hunk of a man. I have it bad for him. He asked for my phone number last Monday, texted me on Thanksgiving and maintained radio silence ever after. I was afraid he had decided I was a no good cotton headed ninny muggins when HE CALLED!! My cry of "Thank God! It's HIM!" sent Libby into derisive laughter, but by then I was on the phone and talking to him.

He asked me what I was doing and I truthfully replied that I was walking to get coffee with Libbs.

Then he asked me how my Thanksgiving was, asked me how my week back at school was going, told me about his Thanksgiving and week. The chat was going great. He was polite, friendly and funny. I was chipper, pleasant, witty. Then it ended. Out of nowhere. No date was fished for, no "what are you doing this weekend", no "we should hang out sometime", no nothing! He was saying something about a test he had on Friday and then BAM, he says "Well, I'd better let you get back to your friend. I'll talk to you later. Bye". Then CLICK, "call ended". No hemming or hawing or anything! Just done! What the hell does that mean?! I got some serious mixed signals. A. He called. B. He didn't ask for a date or establish anything. C. It was a very abrupt end to the convo. D. He was friendly and banter-y on the phone.

Did he suddenly lose the nerve and just bail out? Was he actually just being polite and letting me get back to my friend? Did I offend?

Oh, confusion reigns indeed. I would blame it on my writhing-in-agony brain, as I did the episode today where I forgot the copy code that I have typed in daily for the past year at work, but I don't think it was me. That was genuinely puzzling behavior on his part. What does it all mean?!