2007-12-14 - 11:22 p.m.
I felt bad that I wasn't crying. When she asked if I was okay, I just said "I don't know"

I got a phone call from my mother tonight.

She was sobbing.

My aunt, four months pregnant, is having a problem with the baby, she said.

What's the problem?, I wanted to know.

The baby doesn't have a brain. If she carries it to full term, it will die within a day of being born. My aunt has a difficult decision to make.

I wanted to know if G-ma was with my aunt. My mom said no, the snowstorm was too bad to make the four hour drive. I looked at the snow swirling around me, I had forgotten.

"I wish you were here," my crying mother said.

"I'll be there Wednesday, after my finals," I said.

I don't want to be there. When something bad happens, I want to be nowhere near anyone who shares my pain. I don't want to be near anyone who doesn't share my pain either. I want to be alone.

My dad got on the phone.

"Are you studying hard?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Work hard, drive home safely."

"Okay. Take care of Mom."

"I will. I love you."

Then he hung up.

My dad understands.