2008-01-02 - 7:54 p.m.
Man, my family's normal

So, I was just downstairs playing Guitar Hero, which my brother got for Christmas. He comes down, bringing the cat with him. I tell him it's bad idea, because she gets jealous, but whatever.

I play a song, he plays a song.

I start playing another song and the cat starts freaking out. So I tell Quint to hold her.

He does, by putting her on his lap, but then he starts pushing his stomach in and out, which makes the cat go up and down. Her ears go back and she starts getting that "If I only had my claws, you would be faceless, you little prick" look on her face.

I tell him to knock it off. He keeps doing it. I tell him to knock it off three more times, he continues to do it.

My songs ends and I hit continue instead of quit.

"It's my turn!" whines Quint.

"Nope," I say. "It's my turn again because you wouldn't stop disturbing the cat when I asked. Those are called consequences."

As per usual, Quint goes from fine to asshole in about two seconds. "No. Give it to me. How about you don't get to play anymore because it's my game and those are called consequences."

"Um, that's not the way it works."

"Yes, it is," He makes his face so ugly when talks sometimes. He stands up then and against my protests, drops the cat into a trash barrel of corn.

Woah, woah, wait, Ninja. A trash barrel of CORN? Why was there a trash barrel of corn in the room?

Yep. I've probably mentioned it. My parents, normal people that they are, burn kernels of corn in a specially designed stove to heat the house. They do this because it's relatively cheap and because my dad has a "petroleum jihad" going on. They don't do it because it is an effective way of heating the house (it's not. I'm freezing). Every other day since my dad has been laid up from his knee surgery, I've been trudging out to the garage to clean and then haul back into the house 100 pounds of corn. Yeah.

Ok, now back to the story. No more interruptions!

So Quint drops my poor baby into the barrel of corn. He'd done this earlier in the evening and in addition to getting cat hair on my clean corn, it also freaks my cat out big time. She does not like it. There's just enough corn removed from the barrel that she can only reach the top with her front paws by standing on her back paws. Last time, she'd jumped out onto the legs of a chair and hurt herself.

This time, she jumped out the other direction. Right into another Tupperware box full of corn. The poor thing. It was the saddest and most hilarious thing I'd seen in a while. Have you ever heard a cat jump into a giant box of corn kernels? It's the craziest sound!

I started laughing my ass off, Quint swiped the fake guitar from me and poor Cleo cried and ran for the door.

It was hilarious. And Quint is still an asshole. The world revolves around him and the rules that apply to everyone else only apply to him when they're to his benefit. If they don't, fuck you, he's going to do whatever he wants.