2008-05-16 - 4:24 p.m.
Making up for lost time with Heartless McGee

So, what’s new with me since my last entry?

Let’s see, I graduated from college, had a boyfriend for about two seconds, dumped aforementioned boy, cleaned out my old room at home and made my dad all teary, wanted to kill my new roommate, got drunk off my ass with my English Teacher buddies, and got extravagant graduation gifts.

So, in order of wherever my brain takes us, let’s begin! I’m putting in helpful headings because this is a beast of an entry.

BOO-HOO, NO MORE STUDENT TEACHING:

Last Thursday was my last day of student teaching. I was all sad and whatnot and my kids were doing adorable things. 2nd period, always my favorite, threw me a surprise party and were totally obvious about it. They were squirming the whole period until Mrs. K sent me on some random errand. I knew something was up, but that confirmed it. I was in the middle of teaching and she sends me off on some errand like a 1st day student teacher? I think not! The look I gave her had to be priceless. But I went and when I came back I could hear two boys shouting “She’s coming!”. So subtle, my little ones.

DRINKY DRINKY

So I was sad and that night, my English Ed friends and I went out on the town. Well, first we went a poetry slam because we’re artsy like that and 2 of our own were slamming. Then we went to get drinks. I had one rum and Coke and was drunker than I’ve been since Ireland. In fact, when I stumbled into my sorority at 1:30AM I hugged everyone and then told anyone who would listen that this was the first time I had ever been drunk in America. Then I took off my pants (they were wet from the rain) and slept in a bed with no sheets that had probably been vacated only hours before. It was a ridiculously fun time, though I have no idea why Rich bought me a Corona at 12:45 AM and then let me chug it. Probably because I was yelling “Rich! Rich! I want a Corona!” and stealing his hat to take into the bathroom because the hand dryers at that joint are like jet engines and my friend Mo and I were besides ourselves with raucous laughter every time we put it under there and it flew across the nasty floor at what looked to my drunk eyes like the speed of sound.

Wow, take a breath, that was a long ass sentence.

GRADUATION, NOW WITH FIVES TIMES THE FAMILY DISFUCTION:

Saturday, then, after all that celebrating was graduation. My family were being dicks, my brother in particular. We were all a little stressed, since we were trapped in graduation traffic and I was 20 minutes late to my own fucking graduation! I was being surprisingly cool, but when Quint opened his mouth to say, for the fifth time, that we should just jump the line and park at the dorms, I said “No. No more talking from you.” And he proceeded to burst into a Tourrettes-esque profanity laden tirade, come inches from punching me in the face, slam his elbow into the car door twice and then jump out of the car and walk away. At that point, my mom started crying, my dad did that sighing thing and I stopped caring if I ever saw any of them again.

Then I got the fuck away from them, finally, and ran in to the auditorium to join over 2,000 of my classmates, pulling at my dress the entire time. See, the thing about having mono the last four weeks of school is dresses you bought nine months ago no longer fit around your newly skeletal frame. I only lost 7 pounds, but apparently, all 7 were from my shoulders, chest and ribs. Thank God for graduation robes because my strapless, adorable dress was dangling from my hips the entire ceremony. I’m hoping to get back up to 120 pounds soon. I look disgusting.

PRESENTS!

The rest of graduation day was okay. My asshole brother was dragged to lunch by my sister’s boyfriend and I was expected to make nice. Whatever. Everyone except my parents left after that to go to the next city over. I went over my loot (a tremendous amount of money from my aunts, sister and grandma, the bulk of which came from my grandma) and a brand spanking new Stradivari model violin from my parents. Do you have any idea how expensive violins are?! Dear Lord, I need to get good at the violin and quickly. I haven’t played in four years!

BOYS ARE DUMB, I AM HEARTLESS

Graduation night, after everyone departed, I went to “Iron Man” with Ford. Blaze asked what the deal with Ford was a few entries ago. Well, the deal with Ford has changed greatly. Up until Saturday night, we were good friends. We watched movies together, went to each other’s formal, hung out and had great chemistry that neither of us ever acted on. We have known each other for 3 years and despite our obvious attraction no one ever made a move. We had dinner last Wednesday to say good bye since he was going to be moving to Kansas in less than a week and by the time he got back, I would be long gone. So I was surprised after our good bye that he wanted to go to the movie. I said yes, because I had really wanted to see it.

I liked it, but was fairly distracted throughout. Mostly because I was fantasizing about Ford’s tongue in my ear. What? I’m just going to be honest. He’s my friend, but I am attracted to him and emotions were heightened by our eminent separation.

Apparently, Ford was thinking along the same lines. I drove him to his car afterwards and when I hug him good bye, we were both shaking like leaves. Before I could stop myself, I blurted “I don’t want you to go”, completely losing my cool demeanor. And then we made out. Uh, three times. I’m not going to lie here either, it was good. Comfortable, nice. Then I kicked him out of my car because we were both getting mushy and I hated it.

He wanted to come over later that night, but I wouldn’t let him. Cut to Sunday night, he calls. I’m tired and a little crabby. I’m cutting him short so I can go hang out with my dad. This little scene happens:

Ford: When are you going to bed?
Me: I dunno, probably not too late.
Ford: Obviously, but when are you going to bed?
Me: I’m not really on a set schedule right now. It’s my vacation.
Ford: I need to talk to you, when are you going to bed?
Me: Geez, around 10:30, I guess.

That pissed me off. And I was way ready to be done with him. Then he called at 10:30, apologized for acting like a 7th grade dick, and said he wanted to be sure we were the same page. So I asked what “page” he was on, he was noncommittal at first, but then somehow managed to trap me into an exclusive relationship.

I was tired, but WHAT?! I don’t DO relationships! How did that sneaky bastard get me to agree to not see anyone else while he’s away?

So I stewed silently for two days, and then when he called, I unleashed, in my fairly brutal, candid, maneater way. I told him it sucked, the timing REALLY bothered me (way to go, you passive asshole, wait until THE NIGHT BEFORE YOU LEAVE to FINALLY kiss me. I hope you get mono.) and that while I would have dated him, what we were doing was NOT dating. One line I am slightly chagrinned about now, was this: “One make out session does not a relationship make, Ford.”, I took a minute to admire my sentence structure, shake my head at myself a little and then recommenced the beat down.

Ford’s favorite line in the conversation was “I’m not going to try and change your mind,”. Yeah, I didn’t think you would, you passive sissy. Good riddance! At the end of the convo, I told him I would talk to him whenever he was willing to talk to me and hung up. My mom and sister were fairly aghast and Libby insists that the word “maneater” was invented with me in mind. Whatever, I know what I want and what I don’t and I’m not going to mince words about it.

ROOMMATES ARE FUN!

Speaking of Libby, I’m a little miffed at my dear friend. We moved into this new house at her request. I wanted an apartment, just the two of us. Noo, she insists we can live more affordably at this house in the ghetto. Well, for my money I would shell out the 70 bucks more a month to avoid the problems we have. First, I’m nervous about the neighborhood, which is practically as bad as Collegetown gets. Second, until our other roommate Bubbles moves out, I will continue to get no rest.

See, Bubbles, while she is very cool and chill (her favorite word) and well, bubbly, she is also living the party hardy lifestyle. Since I’ve known her (about two weeks now), she has yet to be sober after 8 PM. And joy of joys, she likes to bring people back to our house for after hours! That sucked pretty bad the first night I moved in, as I told you, but last night was worse. I got home at midnight and had warned her I would be getting in late and leaving early, since I’m substitute teaching today. She assured me she was going out with some girls for a night on the town, but would be quiet when she got back because she and one of her friends were just sleeping the rest of the night. I went to bed at 12:30, was awakened at 1:30 AM before THEY EVEN GOT INTO THE HOUSE, and got to hear thumping, yelling, loud music and talking for the next hour and a half. I figured I could sleep through it, but no. I couldn’t. I went upstairs at about 2:45 and approached the two gentlemen in the living room, Bubbles was no where to be seen. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I was polite. It was something along the lines of “Hey, guys, could you turn the music down a bit? I’m trying to sleep downstairs and I’m sure you don’t even realize it, but I can hear every word you say and every time you move. I hate to be a cranky bitch, but I have to get up for work at 6 and I cannot handle teaching 8th graders on three hours of sleep.” They seemed fairly surprised at my arrival and looked around hurriedly for Bubbles, who was mysteriously nowhere to be found. I’m guessing she was outside since the front door was FUCKING WIDE OPEN AT 2:45 IN THE MORNING IN THE GHETTO.

They apparently left, though, because the house was nearly silent by 3 AM and I mercifully fell asleep. And then overslept and was 2 minutes late for work. God, I hate being late. And increasing my miffitude with Libby is the fact that she has yet to move in! That skank has left me adrift in the land of sleepless debauchery with Miss Id.