2009-02-19 - 7:18 p.m.
The curls are a problem, too, no doubt.

I realize that I am 22 years old, a high school teacher (that absolutely blows my mind sometimes - seriously, people trust me to educate their children?!) and a responsible, bill paying, voting adult.

For some reason, and I cannot explain this, I am also completely in love with this season of The Real World.

I know! Who watches The Real World anymore? Certainly not me! Ahem, well, at least not until a few weeks ago. And now I'm hooked. For whatever reason, I just like the people that are on there this season. They're my age, I relate to some of them and mostly, they're pretty funny.

I have a weird mild crush on the one guy Ryan. He's a tatoo'd good old boy who can't show real emotion, but I like him. He also just returned from a tour of duty in Iraq.

Hmmmmm.

Speaking of our military, GI Joe emailed me this morning. He's coming back earlier than expected - he gets to come back to the States next week! I'm very happy for him; he's been out of the country a long time, doing our nation's dirty work and he deserves to come home and start to live a normal life.

I told RD that in the car on the way home.

"Do not crush this man, Ninja," she said. "You are not allowed to be mean to him."

"I'm not going to be mean!" I protested.

"You know what I mean. You cannot do to this guy what you normally do to guys. Suicide carries off our military faster than getting shot does. He's going to be depressed and adjusting and having his heart crushed by a dream girl is not going to do him any favors."

"Oh, fine. And I'm not his dream girl."

"Oh, really? That vase of flowers on the kitchen table says different."

"Shit."

Shit indeed. I keep imagining that this guy isn't really invested in me. We've never met in person or anything like that, but I have to look no further than my good friend J who "met" her husband (God, that is SO WEIRD! My friends are getting married!) while he was serving in Iraq to know you don't need to be present physically to make that connection. They got together the second he got home and have been together ever since.

For some reason, I am holding myself back. Most likely, my inability to pay attention to a dude for longer than 10 minutes stems from a fear of intimacy or vulnerability. Maybe. I just get bored so damn easy! Plus, I'm always thinking there's somebody else better out there. I don't want just one! Disposable razors, people!

We'll see how things go with GI Joe, but I probably should keep what RD said in mind. I made it pretty clear from the start with GI Joe that I'm not the relationship type of gal and the type of relationships that lead to marriage especially don't gibe well with me. Is my stupid sweet innocent little face undermining me again?!

Damn it. People just never believe that I'm actually heartless or actually serious or actually 22 because my annoyingly youthful face. That fucking button nose.