2009-04-04 - 2:22 p.m.
I want a Man-wich please

All right. So GI Joe is done-zo. It happens that way with guys I date - they do something to annoy me or all the little things suddenly add up and wham-O, even thinking about them makes me irritated. The very thought of seeing them anymore is revolting.

But it's okay. We went out to happy hour last night and I met a new boy. Which is handy seeing as I am currently fresh out of boys to play with.

RD was in a great mood last night - completely wasted and very please with it all. How drinking in a restaurant that she treats like a bar is any different than drinking in a bar is beyond me, but that's what the girl wants to maintain. So be it.

I had dos margaritas - the happy hour variety with barely any alcohol in them. I had a nice buzz going, but got sober pretty quick. Which was good, since I had to drive Drunk (RD) and Drunker (our adorable friend Marin) home. The boy I met was a friend of Smier's boyfriend. Boy, Smier's guy is head over heels for Smier. He could hardly contain himself - every time Smier left the table, he gushed about how into her he was.

Smier's bf's friend was plenty cute and actually stuck it out with me when Smier and bf left me alone with RD, her beau of the moment and his friends, and Marin. Smier, the bf, this new guy and I might be hanging out tonight. Who knows? Maybe he'll even get a nickname.

Marin was hysterical last night. I've never had more fun being DD. I was laughing so hard on the way home because she was in the backseat screeching, telling RD that she should marry the tattoed man she's seeing, lamenting her own boyfriend's absence that night, then cursing him for being absent, accusing him of "licking stripper's vaginas" all night, biting her tongue and bleeding, and trying to give me a tip for driving her home. She also petitioned RD's boy to let her "see his wanger". She just wanted a peek because she heard he had tatoos on it. She also commended me on my virginity, expressed her desire to lose her own and have "mooshy mooshy". Marin is a crazy, crazy girl and I love her. She needs to move in with us and give RD a kick in the pants.

If only everyone was so adorable and ridiculous when enormously trashed. She tried to tell me and her boyfriend, when he arrived to take her drunk butt home, that she'd only had 2 shots and 2 drinks. I counted 2 margaritas and five shots of tequila. And those were only when she was with me. Rumor has it she also took a shot of whiskey and had a beer. Marin is my size, so she's probably not feeling so hot today.

I, on the other hand, am feeling hungry. I think I'm going to go make myself a Manwich. Which, unfortunately, is not euphemistic. I am really going to go eat a sloppy joe.