2009-06-05 - 10:08 a.m.
The dog is barking in his sleep. It sounds pathetic.

FUCK! This laptop sucks balls when it comes to typing. I just somehow deleted all that I had typed. Yeah, "somehow". I have no idea how it happened or why. I think this laptop hates me. Maybe it's because I unleashed the biggest string of profanity ever and threatened to throw it across the room last time it misbehaved. But, no, that doesn't explain why it misbehaved the last time. It probably is just uppity because it's brand new. Well, listen here, you brand new piece of shit: I'm the boss, and I didn't pay for you so I have no problems dropping your ass into the puddle in the sewer outside from my second story bedroom. That's right.

Anyway, what I had been typing before is that I think I'm sweating out all the french fries I ate on "vacation". Really, I swear my sweat smells like french fries after I've eaten lots of them. Disgusting? Yes. And if it's disgusting for you to read, imagine being on the treadmill next to me at the gym.

I thought of another interaction I had with some of the lovely people of Hometown. I had to take my car to get the oil changed and the only place to do that in Hometown is Wal-Mart, because it's a small town and all the mom and pop places have been run out of business. I pull up and this huge, burly dude comes out to see what I want. He looming over me when he asks for my phone number. I give him my parents' number since I have an out-of-state number and that bothers dear Wal-Mart.

He pounds it in to his little computer thing and goes, "Hmmm. So you're the judge's daughter, huh?"

I promptly crap my pants and wonder how long my dad put him in jail for, or which of his gang buddies he locked away, or maybe Dad gave this dude's ex-wife everything in the divorce. "Yes, sir", I managed to sound firm, I think.

But then he laughed, because apparently my fear was apparent. "Don't worry. Your dad helped me out, gave me custody of my daughter."

Whew. Guess that means you won't remove my brakes as part of my oil change, huh?

Really, though, being mad at my dad for putting you away for committing a crime is just silly. It happens, though. My poor dad has places he just won't go because he knows he'll see someone he put in jail, or someone who's dad he put in jail and they'll accost him or whatever. Food has come out with spit in it. My dad shouldn't have to hide from them for doing his job, and often times I think he avoids places for the other person's comfort as much as his own. He knows that person does not want to see him ever again. Judges are like teachers - nobody wants to see them outside of their set parameters.

I want to go use our neighborhood pool today. But I don't know how to get in. Maybe I'll take the dog for a walk and scope the place out. Do something really suspicious and get a nasty letter from the HOA. Oh, how I love living in this stupid, stupid cookie cutter "community".