2009-08-11 - 8:40 p.m.
Summer break - it's a killer

Augh! I have to go back to work tomorrow - real, actual work! For some reason, it is only just now sinking in. I am horribly unprepared.

Tomorrow is just a work/meeting day, as is Thursday, but Friday, actual students are coming! My God! I have accomplished nothing this summer that I said I would. I have hardly anything more this year this year than I did last year!

I guess I just kept telling myself all summer that there was no way I could be less prepared as a second year teacher with all the exact same preps as I was as a first year teaching facing four classes I'd never taught before. And with that mindset is it any wonder I don't have anything prepared?! Nope!

I'm going to put in an honest, hard day's work tomorrow. I will leave my house at 7:15 (a blessed 45 minutes later than I'll have to start leaving next week) and won't return until after 6:30. Augh, it's going to be rough after doing so much nothing all summer.

I'm happy, deep down, that I'm returning to work. I know that I'll be more satisfied with life and all around happier being back with students, doing a job that I love. I know there will be terrible days, but overall, working is better than what I did all summer - even though my summer was great (barring John's death - without that it would have been amazing). It's just a rough adjustment. I've never gone from nothing to lots of work before - at least not since I was 14. And even then I spent my summers playing softball and taking classes.
I think I was better off last year, work ethic/work energy wise, because I'd just come off a summer of chasing 12 year olds around 8 hours a day for minimum wage. That prepares you for teaching like no other.

I need to quit whining, because really, it's not going to do me any good. Work starts tomorrow and I should be happy that I'll be contributing to society once again. Laziness is just addicting, that's all, and I have to quit cold turkey. Harsh, man.