2009-09-29 - 6:40 p.m.
My new mantra: Try not to dump him, try not to dump him

So, my body has recently decided that it would like to react to my cluster drugs in a new way - I don't want to eat! Ever! If I was overweight, this might be a good thing. But I do not need to lose weight and it really bugs me that I'll be all psyched to eat something, take the time to prepare it and then sit there in front of it watching it get cold. Yesterday I had a glass of milk for breakfast, 2 cups of steamed veggies for lunch and that was it. Today, I'm doing better - Gatorade for breakfast, a little spaghetti for lunch and right now I'm about halfway through a generic toaster pastry. And well, I spoke too soon - no longer hungry. Damn. Argh, as if this medicine wasn't making me tired enough, now I'm going to be all undernourished.

I've tried forcing myself to eat - it just makes me feel super sick. Dumb.

Know what else is dumb? Tawley. We've been bickering constantly. We were fine until after the baseball game on Sunday when I said I wasn't hungry for dinner (the egg and piece of bread I'd had 8 hours before really filled me up). We were both tired and proceeded to spend most of the night arguing about stupid shit and then really getting into it when he decided to call me self-centered.

Yeah. It's a miracle I didn't walk out on him right there. Because I'm trying with this one - I really am. He spent a good 20 minutes digging out of that hole. And I think today we're finally going to just knock all that shit off that led us to fight for 2 days. He kept prodding me to "share my feelings" last night and I kept saying "Uh, hello? I told you on Sunday that I don't like to do that shit and so the fact that you got serious talking out of me then was a BIG deal. Count your blessings and move on. You're not getting that from me very often, buttface."

He told me I should just write it down then. So I did and fired it off in a rather pissed email to him this morning - going on about how I wasn't going to apologize for being sarcastic, independent OR reluctant to share my feelings and how I was standing by my comment of my desirableness (I told him I wasn't dating anyone else to console him when he was throwing a fit and he just got even more pissed and because I was power tripping I threw in there that I'd had offers in the last week [which I'd had], but turned them down).

Long story short - he is a huge girl.

He claims that he going to quit doing the shit that was so annoying and we're going to go back to having fun. And we'd damn well better. I date for fun and as soon as it stops being fun, I hit the road. And he knows that. We're not even in a fucking relationship and we're already having stupid little spats! AUGH. Men are. SO. STUPID!

In other news, it's homecoming week at my school and I am rocking the dress up days. Yesterday was little kid day, and not to toot my own horn, but I was fairly adorable - little overall dress, white tights, red ballet flats, pigtails and the weirdest little sailor cap. Today was 80s teen day and I wore these absolutely hideous waist high jeans (seriously, they could have doubled as a bra), two pastel polo's (collars popped, of course), leg warmers and an awesome side pony. Tomorrow is "When I Grow Up" day and so I'm going as the first woman president - which is what I wanted to be when I was little and stupid and had no idea how horrible of a job that is.

All right, I'm off to not eat food and not call Tawley. Grading.